At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

If Galileo had said in verse that the world moved the Inquisition might have let him alone.

To realize that new world we must prefer the values of freedom and equality above all other values - above personal wealth, technical power and nationalism.

In my spare time, I smoke acres of weed.

My mother died when I was five, and all I did was sit and cry. I cried and cried and cried all day, until the neighbors went away.

When I met Dre, N.W.A. didn't exist, nor did Michel'le. And I think we had a chemistry. When started working on my stuff, we created something that was phenomenal.

Let the massacres remind us to turn down our political volume and venom.

Here lies the real terror in the international war of ideologies; that a city knows not whom it entertains.

Self-image, the concept we have of ourselves, must begin not by looking in the mirror but by looking into the face of God.

I don't carry a purse when I fly because I have my Hello Kitty carry-on. I'm the biggest adult supporter.