At least when you're young you're also stupid.

Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal.

Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.

If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.

Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.

Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.

We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.

Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?

When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon.

Proper research into organization of interest is a step to getting there.

It's a fact the whole world knows, That Pobbles are happier without their toes.

In order to succeed in the world people do their upmost to appear successful.

You get better as an actor over time if you're growing. Like singers.

I think it is important to win a match, but I think what is even more important is the manner in which you win.

Asking the author of historical novels to teach you about history is like expecting the composer of a melody to provide answers about radio transmission.

If you are not careful, you will drown in your expectations.

And sure, there's a universe where I made a bonehead call that blew the Super Bowl. But that's not my universe.

Let us rejoice that we are poor, And have no gold to keep: We do not need to bar the door Ere we can go to sleep.

I didn't want a divorce but had to because of circumstance.