At my wedding, I was dancing so furiously that I fell hard on my kneecaps. The next morning, my knees were so swollen that I had to get a wheelchair at the airport to go on my honeymoon.

I went to drama school at NYU for serious acting. So I was doing Chekov and Sam Shepard plays.

It's always great to get to do what you love and to do something that hopefully people will see and love.

Life is the one thing you cannot get out of alive.

Is it normal to make a minute-to-minute schedule for the timing of thanksgiving? I'm asking for a friend.

To clarify, the issue isn’t that I’m too fat, it’s that I’m too phat. Can I get a WHAT-WHAT!

I guess funny people are attracted to funny people, and then you get comedy marriages.

I have never turned to my girlfriend and said, Oh, okay, babe, and I see it in scripts all the time.

Pageants are already ridiculous and sad, I think.

What I think is funny is when people, despite tragic situations, are still hopeful, still trying. It's sweet and sad - and, to me, hilarious.

Most of our fears are borrowed. Since that’s the case, we should get busy returning them.

To awaken a man who is deceived as to his own merit is to do him as bad a turn as that done to the Athenian madman who was happy in believing that all the ships touching at the port belonged to him.

Private enterprise is ceasing to be free enterprise.

Politics, as any observer of the modern world knows, is the enemy of economics, everywhere and always.

Listen can you hear the distance calling Far away but will be with you soon

Stop leaving and you will arrive, Stop searching and you will see, Stop running away and you will be found.

If there was one formula for our success,it was that we were constantly studying how to make things work,or how to make them work better.

We may not get what we want, when we want. But with a bit of perseverance and a lot of patience, we can get what we need.

We have been mentored from the very beginning by Catholic folks who are invigorating the best of the monastic spirit.

Don't we all know why nerds do what they do? To get money, which leads to popularity, which leads to girls.