At the Sharper Image store, I saw a body fat analyzer. Didn't that used to be called a mirror?

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

At least it would have been perfect, if it wasn't for my mother.

When you work with Sir Anthony there are days when he will do a lot of takes if he's really enjoying a scene.

I was this wide-eyed kid wanting to see everything and do everything

Life really is a series of contrasts.

The moral of human life is never simple, and the moral of a story which aims only at being true to human life cannot be expected to be any more so.

Necessity moderates more troubles than reason.

If only for the sake of elegance, I try to remain morally pure.

I don't really mess with Instagram much, but I get why people love it. Because to me, it's better to tell a story through a picture than 140 characters.

Do the best that can be done and then . . . be resigned.

I have found words [in the Bible] for my inmost thoughts, songs for my joy, utterances for my hidden griefs, and pleadings for my shame and my feebleness.