At the U.N., any nation that fights back is censored as an "aggressor."

Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.

If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.

It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.

We may not always see eye to eye, but we can try to see heart to heart.

If you continue doing what you have done in the past, you will get what you have received in the past.

There is always more goodness in the world than there appears to be, because goodness is of its very nature modest and retiring.

Every user needs a loser, every winner is an intrusion.

I never had much education in English poetry as such.

The only recognizable feature of hope is action.

They don't understand that I'm just choosing to be dumb. I'm not dumb. I'm just choosing not to be smart at the moment, but if I put in effort, then I could be really smart, but I choose not to.

It would have hurt no matter who took you the first time.

American political opportunities are loaded against those who are simultaneously intelligent and honest.

Charles was constitutionally incapable of being a constitutional monarch.

A skunk by any other name still stinks.