At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts never do.

autism is more like retina patterns than measles

I did what I came here to do. What I've done I've done with sincerity and to the best of my ability. You can't expect much more from life.

A fan's love for an artist is so deep, I know I will go whatever depths it takes to learn about people that I'm in love with.

Everything done by the state is ultimately done by means of aggression, which is to say violence or the threat of violence against the innocent.

There is nothing far-fetched about disappointment as a subject for comedy. It's something we are all too familiar with.

Hunger can explain many acts. It can be said that all vile acts are done to satisfy hunger.

If someone asks you for something, provide them with a clear "No" or a delivery date.

Doomed are the hotheads! Unhappy are they who lose their cool and are too proud to say, I'm sorry.

You can't ask the women to do anymore. It's time for us as Black men to step up and be what we're supposed to be.