At the end of the day, I love eating duck. It's the best thing you can eat on this earth, especially grilled with jalapenos and cream cheese.

When you don't know what you're doing, it's best to do it quickly.

Most things can be fixed with duct tape and extension cords.

Through Jesus, your past is explained, your present has a purpose, and your future is secure. What more could you really want in life?

You can talk any redneck into a challenge. That’s why so many rednecks die in strange ways.

It seems a fine line between being a matador and being a rodeo clown

My parents were hoarders before hoarding was cool

I represent Jesus on this earth and he represents me in heaven.

Most people named Willie are either in prison or on the armwrestling circuit.

You can see the true heart of a man when you're out in the woods with a weapon

If you’re too busy to duck hunt or catch fish, then you’re too busy.

You need to spend time crawling alone through shadows to truly appreciate what it is to stand in the sun.

We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses.

I firmly believe that the mission of religion in the 21st century must be to contribute concretely to the peaceful coexistence of humankind.

I thought of reaching out for progressive Israelis, progressive Americans, progressive American Jews - this was probably my main mission.

The societies to which I have been exposed seemed to me largely machines for the suppression of women.

I have superpowers when I have a glass of wine.

I believe in using the entire piano as a single instrument capable of expressing every possible musical idea.

I do all these various activities like painting and writing, comedy and films probably because not that I'm good at everything but because I'm not good at any of these things.

I can never join Calvin in addressing his god. He was indeed an Atheist, which I can never be; or rather his religion was Daemonism. If ever man worshipped a false god, he did.