Audience participation should extend from on-stage to backstage to under the stage

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

And you know, there's less charm in life when you think about death--but it's more peaceful.

He thoroughly intended to do some major grovelling. Olympic-style begging, if necessary.

It is true, Monsieur, that when you die, the ones who love you come for you ... I have seen it.

If absolute power corrupts absolutely where does that leave God?

Because we imagine, we can have invention and technology. It's actually play, not necessity, that is the mother of invention.

The ear of the bridled horse is in the mouth.

The Magnificent Seven was really kind of a miraculous event that took place in my life.

Eternity shall be at once a great eye-opener and a great mouth-shutter.

Mothers are the pivot on which the family spins, Mothers are the pivot on which the world spins.

You cannot make anything worthwhile in this world unless you have first developed and transformed yourself.