Audiences like to see the bad guys get their comeuppance.

I look like the kind of guy who has a bottle of beer in my hand.

I don't have friends, I have thousands of acquaintances. No friends. I figured I had a wife and children.

Maybe I'm too masculine. Casting directors cast in their own, or an idealized image. Maybe I don't look like anybody's ideal.

The man who discovers new knowledge is the permanent benefactor of humanity.

But now we have time. Endless time stretches before us.

Everything is 'just a story'. Tragedy, comedy, end of the world, what ever it's just a story. What matters is making sure it's heard.

One half who graduate from college never read another book.

And write about it, Goddess, and about it!

The Emmy should be an ensemble award, too. I kept howling at everyone else's performances.

The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.

Democracy is not a spectator sport.

I know a little about a lot of things. But I don't know a lot about everything.

I'm not making an enemy; I'm keepin' one.