Authors and actors and artists and such - Never know nothing, and never know much.

Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.

Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.

Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.

I began to understand that suffering and disappointments and melancholy are there not to vex us or cheapen us or deprive us of our dignity but to mature and transfigure us.

Youthful life is a beautiful bliss.

In constant view keeps mightily true an honest resolve to do.

My father expected his first child to be a boy, and when it didn't turn out that way he didn't let the fact get in the way of a good story.

Newspapers always excite curiosity. No one ever puts one down without the feeling of disappointment.

The most solid pleasure in this life is the empty pleasure of illusion.

It's hard to visualize the toys you had fifty years ago - all save bear. He's as clear as if he were sitting on the desk in front of you...of course...he probably is.

Every birthday, you decide whether to mark it the end of your greatest days or the beginning of your finest hour.

I'm not big on Champagne, but I'd take along a bottle of Cristal to pop for when the boat comes to the rescue.