Awards mean nothing to comedians. What matters is the audience, how you're doing - artistically, for the most part - at that moment.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language... Apache.

Be so good they can't ignore you.

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.

Relationships end, but they don't end your life. But people do often spending more time finding out about failed relationships than finding successful ones.

Relationships end, but they don't end your life.

Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.

The reason for spiritual enlightenment is not to escape life, but to learn how to live it richly, to enjoy it.The Language of Soul

Anger may seem to be a source of energy, but it’s blind.

I never thought I had a soul, but in that moment when our eyes met and our hands touched in greeting, my soul screamed for joy.

If we could see the beauty and miracle of transformation that happens to us every second, we would never complain again.

And mother-like, Mrs. Jo forgot the threatened chastisement in tender lamentations over the happy scapegrace…

There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: "You can't eat your own food in here." So they swapped sandwiches.

My constituents don't want more refugees. I'm not ashamed to represent these voters. I'm proud of it.

Just think about it: God wanted to communicate with you in the twenty-first century -and he wrote His message in a book.

My attitudes have changed, but somebody would have to read all my books to find out how they have

Everything is decided bya person's thoughts and if he is ideologically motivated, there is nothing he cannot do.