Azhar Usman is a true original and will laugh the hate right out of you.

We all think we're going to get out of debt.

It's so much easier to be cynical.

I'm washing lettuce. Soon, I'll be on fries. In a few years, I'll make assistant manager, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in.

My inspiration is coming more and more from the way I feel and the gratitude I feel. The older you get the more humility you have.

My first words were 'Seconds, please.' Most kids in kindergarten napped on a little rug. I had a braided 9 x 12.

Minnesotans really think they run the whole world, I love that.

I've been in Vegas. That's where you get into the money thing. Boy, you get greedy in Vegas, you know. That's the only place that you can bet $25, get it up to $500 and refuse to quit.

I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off. I'll never forget the look on the young boy's face. He was devastated.

I'm a 7 o'clock act. My people want to go to a show, a dinner and then go home and go to bed.

I started a big part of my career in Vegas.

The beauty of friendship is loyalty.

When superstitions enter the world of imagination, then intelligence and science become fiction.

That will be so amusing! You will have five hundred million little bells, and I shall have five hundred million springs of fresh water...

Pleasure represents a great good but also a grave danger.

What keeps me up at night is poverty and unemployment.

I was always kind of florid. And full of rhetoric. That was my flaw. My whole time writing, I've had to work against that because it can be a wrecking posture.

One should never be ashamed to cry. Tears are rain on the dust of earth.

Humility is a fantastic trait and is one of the most important things we can have

When a maniac is at the door, feuding brothers reconcile.

I'm crap at lying. I go bright red.