BP today finally managed to almost completely stop the flow of information.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Live is good!

A child can learn what is right as easy as what is wrong and whatever impressions are made on the mind when it is plastic will remain there.

The worst ruler is one who cannot rule himself.

What delusion has come over me? What sweet madness has seized me?

If you believe in what you're doing, you'll be successful.

War may be an auction for countries. For soldiers it's a lottery.

Rest is obviously a key in the offseason.

Tidied all my papers. Tore up and ruthlessly destroyed much. This is always a great satisfaction.

Sometimes you just gotta be drop-kicked out of the nest.

My dad says he likes to bask in my glow.