Backup dancers are completely respectable. They're the studio musicians of dance.

I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.

Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have "plans.

What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.

The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.

Falling in love is a completely transcendent experience. It's like eating pizza-flavored ice cream

Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body so you don't act out your dreams.

The one thing you're most reluctant to tell. That's where the comedy is.

I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family at the reception.

Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea.

It was a hard name having growing up as a child. Some kids would call me names like "Birbiglebug" and "Birbibliography" and "Faggot". Some were more clever than others.

There is no witness so dreadful, no accuser so terrible as the conscience that dwells in the heart of every man.

The intelligence community gets hurt through sequestration.

Every time I get a tattoo, my parents say they'll disown me. I have to get them airbrushed for Charmed. Witches don't have tattoos, I guess.

Everybody has dreams. You are living the American dream, what's wrong with pushing to secure it for everyone?

The demand that I make of my reader is that he should devote his whole Life to reading my works.

I get panic attacks in big crowds.

…she'll go and fall in love, and there's an end of peace and fun, and cozy times together.

If you spend too much time watching and fantasizing others while they achieve their dreams you may well miss your own.

Some people think I look like a sweet potato, I consider myself a spud with a heart of gold.

Nor yet be overeager in pursuit of any thing; for the mercurial too often happen to leave judgment behind them, and sometimes make work for repentance.