Bad boyfriends don't disguise themselves; their girlfriends do it for them.

If you really believe in what you're doing, work hard, take nothing personally, and if something blocks your route, find another. Never give up.

You're fighting a battle of good and evil with your dog pimp! Your only weapon is the shimmy! There is power in the shimmy! Make him fear your shimmy! Now, goddamnit, show me your war shimmy!

Small towns are sometimes like that; familiarity runs high, while regard for personal space is low, if nonexistent.

I have more faith in my bra than I have in my accountant.

My family were staunch believers in physical violence, not automatic violence, and we had a Safeway around the corner, so we never really needed to kill anything.

Everyone knows there's only one thing less welcome on a stage than a mime, and that's a clown, because everyone knows that clowns eat people.

Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can't get enough of them.

I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor.

I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline.

I've never really considered doing stand up, but I have done readings/spoken word things fairly often in which I'll just tell a bunch of stories and run off at the mouth. I'm a big tangent person.

An awesome thing children need is a frank smile from a sincere heart

Success is getting through defiance, adversity and difficulties, feeling hopeless and defeated but never giving up until you achieve your goal

When one is silent, those around speak even more, my lord.

The growth that we want is one that brings real benefits to the people, raises quality and efficiency of development, and contributes to energy conservation and environmental protection.

A good man will find that there is goodness in the world; an honest man will find that there is honesty in the world; and a man of principle will find principle and integrity in the hearts of others.

It is so seldom that a young fellow has any inclination for the company of an old man. . .

I knew an actor's career goes up and down and back up again. Your standing in this business can't be your whole identity; otherwise, you're doomed

The idea of American exceptionalism doesn't extend to Americans being exceptional.

And fame, for a painter means sales, gains, fortune, riches. And today, as you know, I am celebrated. I am rich.

I am not a composer of music; I sing pieces which have been written for me which gives me bigger freedom to search for pieces I want to record.