Balloonists have an unsurpassed view of the scenery, but there is always the possibility that it may collide with them.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

You have received a mandate not given by man, but given and empowered by God, to bring justice to the people and godliness on the earth.

The anger welled inside me, with no where to go. I could feel it eating away at me. I knew if i didn't find a way to release it, it would destroy me.

People who don't like cats always seem to think there is some peculiar virtue in not liking them.

Television is full of fictional and real violence that's turned into entertainment.

I don't know whether I prefer Astroturf to grass. I never smoked Astroturf.

Ability is nothing without opportunity.

The real objection to the great majority of cats is their insufferable air of superiority.

I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back.

The natural scientist must be a modern materialist, a conscious adherent of the materialism represented by Marx, i.e., he must be a dialectical materialist.

Experience is real. Painting, which comes out of experience, is real. The world is an illusion.