Bankers are just like anybody else, only richer

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

You don't have to be a hero to accomplish great things---to compete. You can just be an ordinary chap, sufficiently motivated to reach challenging goals.

The MAIN thing is to MAINTAIN!

Being able to communicate with a loved one that you haven't talked to in a while because of some communication break makes their life and your life in a much better place.

I'm hesitant to judge people. My favorite saying is "you do you." But, hopefully, you don't have to seek external validation from others to feel good about yourself.

Japan has one of them crazy robot shortstops.

The body must be credited with an immense fund of know-how.

Each of us seems to have a main focus, a particular idea of practicality - a concept of 'what we want out of life' against which we judge our experiences.

Sin is blatant mutiny against God, and either sin or God must die in my life.

It is important to remember that we are energy. Einstein told us that. And energy cannot be created or destroyed, it just changes form.

Liberals get credit for good intentions, and that's about it, because everything they do fails.