Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend, ' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.

I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.

A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'

When you see a person who has been given more than you in money and beauty, then look to those who have been given less.

It's more like Christmas, you know, when you get a shot in that looks great and it's exactly what you want. It's a great feeling, and there's nothing like it.

No single man can be taken as a model for a perfect figure, for no man lives on earth who is endowed with the whole of beauty.

It's funny, after a while, you get tired of having to fight someone because they don't like the way you look.

the more visible my work became, the less visible I grew to myself.

There is no separation in Divine Mind, therefore, I cannot be separated from the love and companionship which are mine by divine right.

See, ya are what ya are in this world. That's either one of two things: Either you're somebody, or you ain't nobody.

I'm the best kind of thief, the kind that leaves behind items equal in value to those he's stolen.

I didn't want to make the same mistake my parents made. I didn't want my love to fade away one day like an old scar. I wanted it to burn forever.