Basically Britney Spears' video is like a three an a half minute version of Glitter.

The thing is - I'm not an idiot. I'm rather intelligent, as proven by the fact that I just used the word 'rather' in a sentence.

Michael Jackson's charity efforts? Mmm. I'm sure they have nothing to do with his molestation charges.

I was told by a physician to avoid any line of work where people need to, um, depend on me for anything.

The Smurf village was destroyed weeks ago and Bush has still not made an appearance. George Bush doesn't care about tiny blue people.

America may be entering it’s Michael Jordan on the Wizards period.

There comes a point where the disappointments in your life accrue faster than you can find external forces to blame them on.

I haven't had a drink in twelve days and I've gotta say, I'm pretty shocked at how boring people are.

I used to play bass for a while and got to the point where I was good enough to be in a shitty band.

You rarely hear anyone use the word pancreas in a not-horrible context.

Canada, or as i call them, America Light.

Her desires are mine. Her wishes are mine. Should even the world stand against her, my blade will be at her side. And should it fail to protect her, let my own existence be forfeit." - Ash

Life is a stage: perform your masterpiece.

I'm not perfect, I'm beautifully imperfect

The only real happiness a ballplayer has is when he is playing a ball game and accomplishes something he didn't think he could do.

I just think some women aren't made to be mothers. And some women aren't made to be daughters.

I want to focus on what are called kitchen table issues. You know, the ones that keep you up at night, like the cost of childcare and college and prescription drugs and so much else.

And I never expected that you could have a broken heart and love with it too, so much that it doesn't seem broken at all.

Why should it happen that among the great many women whom I see and am fond of, suddenly somebody I meet for half an hour opens the door into poetry?

Tomorrows only exist in the minds of dreamers and losers.