Basically, I only play one character; I just play him at different volumes.

In the land of the skunk the man with half a nose is king!

First off, I am 35 years old, I am divorced, and I live in a van down by the river.

I'm just dandy, I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants!

I have what doctors call a little bit of a weight problem.

Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug.

I want to live fast and die young.

I live in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER.

Once I thought that if I just had enough in the bank, if I had enough fame, that it would be all right. But I'm a human being like everyone else. I'm not exempt.

The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer.

Everybody laughs when fatty falls down.

True education begins after you are done with formal education.

By spending love, you increase the value of your life.

It's hard because people always say, 'Follow your dreams, ' but it's not a perfect world, and things don't always work out. But you've just got to work hard, and you can't take things for granted.

A story should have a beginning, a middle and an end, but not necessarily in that order.

It's true, we tend to write about the same thing over and over again because this is our trauma. If I had been in World War II, I might have been writing about D-Day over and over again.

The progress of life shows a man the stuff of which he is made.

The bad poet is a toady mimicking nature.

I cannot imagine a context that would some day, in some manner, make the monstrous crime of September 11 an understandable or comprehensible political act

We have two tables on our airplane that are set up with the games.

Many that are not mad have, sure, more lack of reason.