Be advised that there is no parking in Europe.

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

People are supposed to fear the unknown, but ignorance is bliss when knowledge is so damn frightening.

To get power is to pray.

I was doing that thing the infatuated do, stitching destiny onto the person we want stitched to us.

. . . nobody every taught you loyalty . . .

Once in awhile you have a thought, and you rhyme it.

While we shall never weary in the defense of freedom, neither shall we ever abandon the pursuit of peace.

A pronoun, too, will aptly reflect the number of its antecedent: "they" does not refer to one person, no matter how many personalities she or he has, or how eager you are to skirt the gender frays.

Have you ever heard the earth breath?

We are nothing if we walk alone; we are everything when we walk together in step with other dignified feet.

You have to create a track record of breaking your own mold, or at least other people's idea of that mold.