Be content to remember that those who can make omelettes properly can do nothing else.

Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine, There’s always laughter and good red wine. At least I’ve always found it so. Benedicamus Domino!

The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

When one remembers how the Catholic Church has been governed, and by whom, one realizes that it must have been divinely inspired to have survived at all.

When I am dead, I hope it may be said: His sins were scarlet, but his books were read.

The Llama is a woolly sort of fleecy hairy goat, with an indolent expression and an undulating throat; like an unsuccessful literary man.

We wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.

I shoot the Hippopotamus with bullets made of platinum, because if I use the leaden one his hide is sure to flatten em.

The Church is a perpetually defeated thing that always outlives her conquerers.

These are the advantages of travel, that one meets so many men whom one would otherwise never meet, and that one feeds as it were upon the complexity of mankind

I have wandered all my life, and I have also traveled; the difference between the two being this, that we wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.

Do you know how you get the urge to clean your room, and it’s no big deal? But when your mom tells you that you have to clean your room, you don't want to? That's me, anyway.

One cannot judge a man for the sins of his family.

I think I love him, but I also think that you can love people who aren't good for you.

If we ignore it the truth that God is love may slyly come to mean for us the converse, that love is God.

For a straight man, I seem to have to kiss an awful lot of men!

So many, though reluctant to admit it. Shun clever men, and rather suffer fools.

I like to get one pair of shoes and wear them till they're dirty. Besides, I don't walk - I glide, like butter. Float like a vampire. I'm like Louis Vuitton, but smoother. He wishes he were like me.

To conceal ignorance is to increase it. An honest confession of it, however, gives ground for the hope that it will diminish some day or the other.

There’s a lot of times that both myself and my brother wish, obviously, that we were just completely normal.

Money always has been something that has attracted itself to me.