Beans, beans, the magic legumes - the more you ingest, the more you consume.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

..... you can never lie to the guy in the mirror !!!

In the horror genre, unfortunately you sometimes have the studio tell you, "No, go with more unknown people because it's a scary movie," and I disagree.

The essence of what makes life beautiful is the fact that it can go away.

I really never break the rules. I'm not scared to say what I think or if I really disagree with something then I'll say it, but I'm not kind of like a born rebel.

It is so nice when you can sit with someone and not have to talk.

The storm: I close my eyes and, standing in it, try to make it mine.

I've been asked to write my autobiography and really they only want 8 years (1962-1970), and I keep saying it would be five volumes before I even got into the band!

Your initiations are worthwhile.

Defense. That' the thing I'm known for.

The sexual orientation of my parents has had zero effect on the content of my character.