Bear hunting? Come on up and we'll fix you up, you betcha. Just be sure you bring some hunting buddies with you, preferably fat ones who can't run as fast as you.

Mr. President, the only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke.

Folks, this government isn't too big to fail, it's too big to succeed.

I always remind people from outside our state that there’s plenty of room for all Alaska’s animals — right next to the mashed potatoes.

Assange is not a 'journalist' any more than the 'editor' of al-Qaeda's new English-language magazine 'Inspire' is a 'journalist.' He is an anti-American operative with blood on his hands.

We need independents, we need the GOP, we need Reagan Democrats.

People have a constitutional right to burn a Koran if they want to, but doing so is insensitive and an unnecessary provocation - much like building a mosque at Ground Zero.

If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?

Waterboarding is how we baptize terrorists.

We say keep your change, we'll keep our God, our guns, our constitution.

America's finest - our men and women in uniform, are a force for good throughout the world, and that is nothing to apologize for.

It is not enough that you look for Him.You must hunt for God each and every dayas if your life depends on it.Because it does.

I do make a concscious effort to be genuine among other comedians. If I write something or try something that doesn't feel like me, I stop doing it.

Faith allows me to feel that as long as I'm in line with God everything will be O.K. and that I'll make it through whatever.

It's good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies

There's a Viper in Mizville!

We live in a kissy society.

You cannot endure what you never enjoy!

Not every show needs to reach the same size of audience, or same width, of a ‘Sopranos,'

Love's but a frailty of the mind, When 'tis not with ambition joined.