Beautiful clear day in Beverly Hills. The sweet smell of Botox is in the air.

I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them

Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.

I'd like a nice piece of salmon that's not too pink inside and yet isn't too dry or crisp either.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And if that doesn't work out for you, Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.

My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed.

If someone sprays windex in your food it can give you diarrhea. But once you wipe it off your windows, you're fine.

I don't roll like that but I've never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that's good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that's a little disturbing.

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that's how he dealt with my mom.

Because that which was new was almost always temporary. And that which was temporary broke your heart.

There's no place for mob justice in Afghanistan.

When you learn how much bycatch comes from shrimp [and how destructive it is] - I'm not going to eat shrimp anymore.

You couldn't put a value on him, he's on another planet. For me, Lionel Messi is undoubtedly the No.1 player in the world.

I put on your sequined ball gown and I checked the mirror there. Why, I looked like Cindy Crawford, but with much more body hair.

Always have fun but stay hungry. Find that balance.

I'll work with Jerry Seinfeld any day of the week. Get a nice little paycheck there, but you do it for free. It's just good to be associated with that man. He's a great guy.

The man who wishes to understand himself thoroughly must with his unrest, uncertainty, and even his weakness and sinfulness, with his life and death, draw near to Christ.

If we have the right to use our reason, we certainly have the right to act in accordance with it, and no god can have the right to punish us for such action

This profusion of eccentricities, this dream in masonry and living rock is not a drop scene in a theatre, but a city in the world of reality.