Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Phoebus de Chateaupers likewise came to a 'tragic end': he married.

An enduring belief in light rises above the darkness of night.

Those who say that money can’t buy you love make it sound as if love can buy you money.

I believe that we are always attracted to what we need most an instinct leading us towards the persons who are to open new vistas in our lives and fill them with new knowledge.

When my friends lack an eye I look at them in profile.

You'll never make a fortune working for the boss man.

Sometimes a story idea will come to me, and suddenly I've figured out the whole thing, and I feel like I'm collaborating with something other than myself.

God grows fragrant flowers of hope in the ashes of loss.

Most of my dreams came true.

The role of the teacher remains the highest calling of a free people.