Because no man wants to be a coward in front of a cheese.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

I don't know what I believe. I guess that makes me a Christmas Tree Agnostic.

Sometimes men come by the name of genius in the same way that certain insects come by the name of centipede - not because they have a hundred feet but because most people can't count above fourteen.

Because of the disruption phenomenon - technological progress outstripping the ability of customers to utilize it - the general tendency is for the money to migrate toward the subsystems.

I was playing the game where I was going to be a great TV or film writer some day and there was nothing else that I thought about, including other people.

If I eat clean, I look 10 years younger.

Peace is not the product of terror or fear.

We can all be good when we have no temptation or provocation to the contrary.

Any idealist who tries to join the Peace Corps must realize he is not going to change the world overnight.

I think in a lot of ways, writing, when you're really in there, is like being an actress because you're in somebody else's head.

Our judgment will always suspect those weapons that can be used with equal prospect of success on both sides.