Because the world all twisted up and wrong, like distorted glass, only came back into focus if you looked at it through the bottom of a bottle.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

If taxation without consent is not robbery, then any band of robbers have only to declare themselves a government, and all their robberies are legalized.

Marriage cannot be severed from its cultural, religious and natural roots without weakening the good influence of society.

If you intend to go to work there is no better place than right where you are; if you do not intend to go to work, you can not get along anywhere.

New research into cognitive functioning - how the brain works - proves that bullet points are the least effective way to deliver important information.

Big machines are the awe-inspiring cathedrals of the 20th century.

One who, while seeking happiness, oppresses with violence other living beings who also desire happinesss, will not find happiness hereafter.

In my photographs it is apparent that there was no posing at the moment I released the shutter.

If you want to change the world, start with yourself.

Every son quotes his father, in words and in deeds.

There are a lot of things that dancers can do that actors cannot and actors can do that dancers cannot.