Before The Simpsons, I was 4 years old, so I don't know exactly what I was thinking before that.

I'm a lurker and a creep. Women don't like me because I sleep standing up, like a horse.

I'm insecure, and I need the validation of strangers to feel whole. So, I need every single racist 12-year-old on the Internet to like me, or I don't feel complete.

A hole is a hole has always been my motto.

I think everyone is bi, right? There's no such thing as sexual orientation, or race, or gender. Those are all obsolete man-made concepts.

I will smoke crack before I die. I want to see what all the hubbub is about.

I can't tell if the world is worse now or if we just have more cameras. There are cameras everywhere, so now the world knows how bad the world is.

I think we give human beings too much credit. We're primates, you know.

The president is the country's scapegoat more than the country's leader; the president has as much power as we think the president has. Whoever has the most money is the puppet master.

Do you think we're going to hit a tipping point and the world's going to end?

I'm an Aries. I need everybody to like me.

It would be a remarkable life, if we live it in the same manner as we do once we find out we do not have much to live

I used to be a wicked disco guy.

I prefer you like this, when you're in a foul mood, because you tell the truth.

It seems to me, sorry seems to be the hardest word.

No whining, no complaining about anyone. Everybody in your life has come to teach you lessons.

You've got to be stupid to heckle me - I am very equipped to win.

If I had my way, sporting guns would be strictly regulated, the rest would be confiscated

I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me, And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.

The more comprehensible the universe becomes the more pointless it seems.

For the liberal state to accommodate a diversity of beliefs while having few positive convictions is one of the more admirable achievements of civilization.