Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

I furnished the body that was needed to sit in the defendant's

I'm not a screamer. I'm confrontational, but I don't think that translates into anger.

I beg you be persuaded that no one would be more zealous than myself to establish effectual barriers against the horrors of spiritual tyranny, and every species of religious persecution.

The row of dolls watched her impassively from the bookshelf, their tea party propriety almost certainly offended.

Next time say my name. You'll come more

Yeah, I am a character actor.

Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.

A preacher must be both soldier and shepherd. He must nourish, defend, and teach; he must have teeth in his mouth, and be able to bite and fight.

Your future is created by what you do today, not tomorrow.

Only a woman can write what it is to feel as a woman, to be a woman.