Before a war military science seems a real science, like astronomy; but after a war it seems more like astrology.

God forbid that any book should be banned. The practice is as indefensible as infanticide.

I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.

Motherhood is the strangest thing, it can be like being one's own Trojan horse.

The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots.

There is no logical reason why the camel of great art should pass through the needle of mob intelligence.

The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning.

All men should have a drop of treason in their veins, if nations are not to go soft like so many sleepy pears.

The trouble about man is twofold. He cannot learn truths which are too complicated; he forgets truths which are too simple.

The mind is its own enemy, that fights itself with the innumerable pliant and ineluctable arms of the octopus.

Writing has nothing to do with communication between person and person, only with communication between different parts of a person's mind.

Value yourself and those who are in your company will reflect the same image.

Being President is like being the groundskeeper in a cemetery: there are a lot of people under you, but none of them are listening.

What goes on in our head solely determines the level at which we function in society, our physical health, and the degree of our mental and emotional stability and maturity.

Panty Melter: an exceedingly rare species of man blessed with so many desirable attributes he effortlessly gains access into a girl's panties.

It is funny how the things we hate are the things we miss most when they are gone

I just continue to be myself and give this thing over to the good lord, just do my best every night and pretend like it's just any other job.

great inventors and discoverers seem to have made their discoveries and inventions as it were by the way, in the course of their everyday life.

I didn't have a happy childhood.

Birds learn how to fly, never knowing where flight will take them.

Do you know why the Lord withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh at you.