Before people figured out I was funny, I got cast quite a bit as either a rapist or serial killer or the guy who catches those people.

I'm enjoying the opportunity that Parks And Recreation affords me to exploit my own soapbox agenda, which is to try to encourage people to make things with their hands.

I grew up in a small town in Illinois, and my dad was a basketball coach. Thanks to him, I have excellent fundamentals in both basketball and baseball.

I have a wonderfully hedonistic appetite, and if I wasn't really strict with myself, I'd weigh 300 pounds. I'm not good with moderation.

If I had more time, I'd watch more woodworking or home-improvement shows, but, not enough hours in the day.

If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. He's a grown man, fishing's not that hard.

Follow your gut, make a choice, and throw yourself into it. If you make a mistake, then you have merely afforded yourself a valuable lesson.

If properly dried and trimmed, New York-style pizza could be used to make a box for Chicago-style pizza.

If you want to be happy in life, consider yourself a student. Every day of your life, think: how can I improve?

Figure out what you love to do, then figure out how to get paid to do it.

When God throws something your way, catch it!

[The Lord] does go with us through our sufferings, and He awaits us as we emerge on the other side of the tunnel of testing—into the light of His glorious presence to live with Him forever!

Through the veil of Love, one finds the heaven on Earth

Philosophers say man forms himself in dialogue.

A person, who no matter how desperate the situation, gives others hope, is a true leader.

The only thing to know is how to use your neurosis.

Everything in nature acts in conformity with law.

Don't use your advance to buy an antique sports car, diamonds by the yard, or a bottle of wine from Thomas Jefferson's cellar instead of investing in your book.

One truly affectionate soul in a family will evert a sweetening and harmonizing influence upon all its members.

I do not like candy. I do not like knocking on strangers' doors. I do not like having to deal with the candy disaster that is Halloween. I resent it.