Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

The Lord is calling us to turn from evil. And return to Him in repentance.

You can always get another job. You’ll never get another life.

I don't know how I ever really lived before my husband came into my life.

That is - the reason for that is that home prices are only going to go up. Now, they've never gone down nationwide in our - since we've been keeping track of this.

I guess I'm happy that I'm getting the attention. Otherwise, I'd just be playing in a local bar in front of my family members, and I'm sure they'd get sick of that in no time

Those things of real worth in life are worth going to any length in love and respect to safeguard.

I'd love to be a pop idol. Of course, my groupies are now between 40 and 50.

How shall the murdered man convince his assassin he will not haunt him.

The mind approves and the body consents.

The day Apollo 11 landed, I knew men would walk on Mars in my lifetime. I'm no longer nearly so sure. The last budget put forward in Canada contained not a penny for Mars.