Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

I wonder if you know thy soul?

If the weather is summer in your mind, even the coldest winter will be hot for you! If the weather is winter in your mind, even the hottest summer will be cold for you!

On less lucid evenings, every library is a haunted cemetery.

The human heart was undeniably the stupidest organ in the body.

A prepared person will always have his opportunity.

A fist is more than the sum of its fingers.

there are no nationalities in heaven.

I love to be creative.

I in my own house am an emperor, And will defend what's mine.

The cars that our children and grandchildren will be driving in the future will be greener as a result of high-tech lessons learned.