Behold a universe so immense that I am lost in it. I no longer know where I am. I am just nothing at all. Our world is terrifying in its insignificance.

Women react differently: a French woman who sees herself betrayed by her husband will kill his mistress; an Italian will kill her husband; a Spaniard will kill both; and a German will kill herself.

Neatness is a crowning grace of womanhood.

To be happy, one must have a good stomach and a bad heart.

A true philosopher is like an elephant; he never puts the second foot down until the first one is solidly in place.

A philosopher will not believe what he sees because he is too busy speculating about what he does not see.

It is a great obstacle to happiness to expect too much.

Mathematicians are like lovers. Grant a mathematician the least principle, and he will draw from it a consequence which you must also grant him, and from this consequence another.

People almost always do great things without knowing how to do them, and are quite surprised to have done them.

An educated mind is, as it were, composed of all the minds of preceding ages.

Leibniz never married; he had considered it at the age of fifty; but the person he had in mind asked for time to reflect. This gave Leibniz time to reflect, too, and so he never married.

The right to choose does not mean the choice is right.

I've been watching 'Walking Dead' with my son, and there is absolutely nothing in there I find shocking, but it's cool, and I like it.

You know when you have a good relationship with someone when you are just perfectly happy to be quiet and just hang out and do nothing.

Also, as I've gotten older and more mature, I've become much more comfortable in my own skin. After 25 years of doing stand-up, that's reflected onstage.

When you think about it, what other playwrights are there besides O'Neill, Tennessee and me?

When you have only 10 episodes to do and you know there's so many fun things that you have left unresolved, you have to figure out what happens to all of your supporting characters.

No woman should have a memory. Memory in a woman is the beginning of dowdiness. One can always tell from a woman's bonnet whether she has got a memory or not.

If it's not forbidden, then it's allowed

The devil tempts us to bring out the worst in us, but the Father tests us to bring out the best in us.