Being "Jewish" is way stronger culturally than it is religiously.

I believe that the fragile-flower, idea-intolerant society of victimhood that is being cultivated in many colleges today is really bad.

Mostly, you become a writer not because you want to get rich or famous, but because you have to write; because there is something inside that must come out.

The verb "Garland" should be created. It would mean to unfairly put a stinking albatross around someone's neck, to make him unemployable.

The horrifying thing is that nearly half of America seems in synch with xenophobia and race-baiting.

Editorials are editorials. They a supposed to have an opinion, even a very strong one.

The one thing an aspiring writer must understand is that it's hard. If you think it's not hard, you're not doing it right.

I once found myself driving, smoking a cigar, taking notes, and talking on the phone at the same time. I only became completely aware of this when I had to shift, and realized something had to give.

One thing I am learning from the kitten is that everything he is doing seems to be in preparation for murder.

I think Marco Rubio could never have recovered from revealing himself to be pathetic.

Every single fat comic uses his weight as a punchline. There is something sad about that.

Yeah 'cause throwing knives at a girk is totally Going to get her to like you. #Tobiaslogic

Keep your faith in God, but keep your powder dry.

Lists are how I parse and manage the world.

The customer will become so integrated into the production process that we will find it more and more difficult to tell just who is actually the consumer and the producer.

I've never had a clique. It's impossible when you're always traveling.

Windows '98 is so similar to Windows '95 because Apple hasn't invented anything worth copying since 1995.

The great square has no corners and the great implement completes nothing.

Maybe under all that guilt and certainty that he couldn't love again, he still wanted me. I would have liked to have found out. But I didn't have the time. Instead, I punched him.

I am weary of a task which is done and I hope I shall not shrink when the aftermath ends. My only wish is to live peacefully out the remaining years - if years they be.