Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been trying that for forty years.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

in a worldfull oftemporary thingsyou area perpetual feeling.

There are no such things as applied sciences, only applications of science.

We have to all shoulder the responsibility for keeping the planet habitable, or we're going to suffer the consequences - together.

Offensive linemen are like salt. Nobody ever remembers the brand they buy.

There's no independent satisfaction without the success of the film itself. The feel that you have done the best you can to support the film.

I love the smell of a mans skin.

If you had to choose only two qualities to get you through times of change, the first should be a sense of self-worth and the second a sense of humor.

Soft things are terrifying. They're the real signals of death. Images of strength can never be that terrifying. It's the images of weakness that are a real apocalypse.

the impatience of the old is the worst impatience of all.

You took a poison arrow and you aimed it at my heart. It's heavy and it's bitter, and it's tearing me apart.