Being an author of banned books is cool, I've decided.

You shоuld eat а waffle! Yоu саn't bе sad іf уоu eat а waffle!

You should eat a waffle! You can't be sad if you eat a waffle!

I live in my own little world. But its ok, they know me here.

We are all flawed, my dear. Every one of us. And believe me, we've all made mistakes. You've just got to take a good hard look at yourself, change what needs to be changed, and move one, pet.

If everyone started off the day singing, just think how happy they'd be.

We all mess up. It's what we learn from our mistakes that matters.

One: Don't play leapfrog with elephants. Two: Don't pet a tiger unless his tail is wagging. Three: Never, ever, mess with the Ladies Auxiliary. -Mayberry Rules for a Long, Happy Life

Kids are smart. Knowledge is power. Let them figure things out. Don't turn into that grown-up who they won't come to.

I didn't like being alone. Being alone was slightly better than having to deal with people, that's all. Or so I'd convinced myself.

Prancing around with marshmallowss on your nipples does *not* constitute living your life fully!

We could live several lifetimes and never exhaust the power of our minds.

The hours were long, but the days were short, and as much as I willed it to never come, the end of summer arrived anyway.

The market didn't define the music the music defined the market.

All fear is imaginary, reality is its antidote.

Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.

You know, your species [humans] has the most amazing capacity for self-deception, matched only by its ingenuity in trying to destroy itself.

I am in charity, my children, with all the servants of God.

The fatherland shall one day be like this: We're not all equal, but we're all brothers.

Some stuff can be fixed, some stuff can’t be. Deciding which is which is part of maturing.

I think it's really important for real artists to make sure they're honest.