Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Determine how you are going to measure your success.

Intelligence and common sense, what makes a person a real genius.

I was going to do a book about the first prearranged Karpov-Kasparov match, '84-'85. But the God-damn Jews have stolen my entire file on that.

There is nothing like a fine Italian sound.

What we really need is a mindset shift that will make us relevant to todays consumers, a mindset shift from telling to selling to building relationships.

I think making mistakes is as inevitable as receiving disappointments.

If we learned to walk and talk the way we learn to read and write, everyone would limp and stutter.

The pursuit of your life is to come into [your] purpose. And the waste of your life is to miss that purpose.

Even championship-winning teams don't play well all the time.

We can take that as a notion that we don't know exactly what [Trump] is going to do, but we can't afford to take a position of waiting around to see.