Being funny, it turns out, is like being a bank. It's a confidence trick. As long as everyone believes in you, you are fine.

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

It's not a bad idea to occasionally spend a little time thinking about things you take for granted. Plain everyday things.

In principle, there are only three main components of spending that much matter to monetary policy: consumer spending, business investment and exports and trade.

We are more likely to cheat if we see others doing so. We tend to conform to accepted norms of reasonable behaviour, rather than adhere to strict rules.

Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

If you're not making some mistakes, it probably means you're not trying hard enough.

Men don't know much about women. We do know when they're happy. We know when they're crying, and we know when they're pissed off. We just don't know in what order these are gonna come at us.

It's amazing, if you know what you want to say, how fast it is to write.

But sometimes it's good to dare yourself to do the unthinkable. And rather than stand in front of an audience with no clothes on, I decided to have a go at stand-up comedy.

Reducing every issue to an argument can become stale but it's often a very good way of clarifying issues.

Beauty is bought by judgement of the eye.

I remember being in a history lesson and saying to my teacher, 'How come you never talk about black scientists and inventors and pioneers?' And she looked at me and said, 'Because there aren't any.'

The fans love the home runs, the home run competition between Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa.

Tommy Chong connects to the pipe a lot.

Art should never try to be popular.

I was extravagant in the matter of cameras - anything photographic - I had to have the best. But that was to further my work. In most things I have gone along with the plainest - or without.

I waited a second. Should I? No... but I will.

I hate any kind of owing of anything.

After the bitching I'd done to Abe about going to remote, crappy places, I should have been excited about the prospect of going to Sin City.

The more false we destroy, the more room there will be for the true.