Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

After awhile you realize that putting your actions where your mouth is makes you less likely to have to put your money where your mouth is.

All seasons are beautifully filled with splendid wonders.

There is really only one true way to progress

My career has been successful, but it's been a grind of hard work.

Canelo's a different breed. A lot of people think because of the way I made Canelo look, they're going to be able to do the same thing, but that's not true. He's a strong fighter.

I've always felt I carried a golden secret, a wonderful secret. Every time I thought about it, it made me feel warm inside and good.

Persuade thyself that imperfection and inconvenience are the natural lot of mortals, and there will be no room for discontent, neither for despair.

On the throne, one has many worries; and remorse is the one that weighs the least.

No man is greater than his prayer life.

The problem is, your ego sometimes tells you that you can do many things. But sometimes it's best to stay focused and be honest with yourself.