Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on a date.

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Don't compare yourself with someone else's version of happy or thin. Accepting yourself burns the most calories.

I constantly walk into a room and I don't remember why. But for some reason, I think there's going to be a clue in the fridge.

I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had 3 eggs... but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.

I always feel slightly sorry to be the voice of whatever I'm experiencing.

I'd like a pop-up magazine with 45 articles on Russell Crowe. I'm like a teenager. I'd have 'Teen Beat' if I could, for grown-ups.

Before we got engaged, he never farted. Now it's a second language.

I grew up thinking that if I wanted to go be prime minister, I could.

I always like to think I'm having a dinner party, and I'm the host, and the audience are my guests.

I was just the youngest in the family, and most in desperate need of attention.

What nature hath joined together, multiple regression analysis cannot put asunder.

To Death I yield but not to Doubt who slays before!

It is better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies.

One is either packed or unpacked. There is no middle ground.

God does not love us because we are valuable. We are valuable because God loves us.

For oute of olde feldys, as men sey, Comyth al this newe corn from yer to yere; And out of olde bokis, in good fey, Comyth al this newe science that men lere.

I'm very focused when I'm making a movie, but I'm also a fantastic multitasker.

As long as you're not hurting anyone, your choices are your choices.

The reality is: a founder is someone who deals with a ton of different headaches and no one is universally super powered.

Speeches that are measured by the hour will die with the hour.