Being married is kind of like being a Ken-doll; you don't get to dress yourself anymore.

We don't need someone who can think. We need someone with enough digits to hold a pen.

I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub.

We are trying to change the tones in the state capitals, and turn them toward bitter nastiness and partisanship.

My goal is to cut government in half in twenty-five years, to get it down to the size where we can drown it in the bathtub.

Obsessions turn people off.

We will make it so that a Democrat cannot govern as a Democrat.

This always confuses liberals, that conservatives like the military and don't like the bureaucracy. That's because the military has their guns pointed out and the bureaucracy has them pointed in.

I was an anti-communist before I was political in other ways.

The future of the Republican Party, all the different folks looking to lead the Republican Party at the national level in the future, recognize we should do immigration reform.

The goal is to reduce the size and scope of government spending, not to focus on the deficit. The deficit is the symptom of the disease.

I am the Eschaton. I am not your God.I am descended from you, and exist in your future.Thou shalt not violate causality within my historic light cone. Or else.

If books can transform, those have to be conscientious.

Performance releases pressure.

I think, when men tell women to lose weight, it's a diversion from their own lack of size in certain areas.

You see few people here in America who really care very much about living a Christian life in a democratic world.

"The making of peace is a continuing process that must go on from day to day, from year to year, so long as our civilization shall last."

It seems to never occur to fools that merit and good fortune are closely united.

I don't know what happened. One minute, I was dreamin' about a fat piece of George Clooney and a hot date with some brown sugar pound cake, and the next thing I knew, the house was coming down on us.

I can make the best French toast.

The world and life have been mighty good to me. And I want to put something back.