Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Every morning when I wake up, I make up my mind to solve as many problems, before retiring home

I hope my allergies don't act up

Under the engine cover, no one cares what's in there. Nobody cares.

Larry Kasdan is a great director.

I can show you who's the man Let me show you with my hands I just want you close to me I'll get you wet Just wait and see

Mix an anorexic body with a heart made of pure fire and you are going to go with a savagery that's hard to explain.

I feel as if I've been able to do so many things I never expected to do.

Pow'r above pow'rs! O heavenly eloquence! That with the strong rein of commanding words, Dost manage, guide, and master th' eminence Of men's affections, more than all their swords!

I know that for me I have to get out of the way and let God take control.

When people can walk away from you: Let them walk.