Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on.

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

You must know the purpose of your life and be completely dedicated to it

And in a world without heroes, as the movie trailer voice-over guy might say, the slightly awkward can be slightly cool.

Life itself seeks fulfillment as plants seek sunlight.

You must have a capacity to receive, or even omnipotence can't give.

As I look back on the last few decades of my life, I am struck by the good fortune that came my way.

Don't complain about growing old — many, many people do not have that privilege.

Journalism largely consists of saying 'Lord Jones is Dead' to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive.

Imagine all the people Sharing all the world.

I - I try to do as much as I can, wherever I am. So, at the farm, I'm always thinking of some new project, some new thing I can do.

The need for raising the awareness of this shameful chapter in U.S. history is more apparent than ever.