Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Righteousness is the way of Light

Lead with honesty, total integrity, compassion, patience and tolerance — toward yourself!

Nothingness is an absolute infinite potential, not an empty box.

Never, under any circumstances, let the Virginian wolfsnake near a typewriter.

I now have Croatian citizenship, but I only accepted it because Croatia allowed me to keep my Russian passport.

I long for the day when advertising will become a business for a grown man.

Never allow anyone else to define your success.

Abstract art is a creative interplay between the conscious and the unconscious, with the conscious mind making all the final decisions and in control throughout.

Study not man in his animal nature - man following the laws of the jungle - but study man in all his glory.

Leaders grow; they are not made.