Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

No one wakes up in the morning and says, 'I want to gain 150 pounds and I will start right now!

How much better does being alive get then sitting beside a warm fire amidst a misty rainy morning.

A faint endeavor ends in a sure defeat.

I find that communication as an actor and person is an important part of who I am. And I'm really drawn into the psychology of those dynamics.

Fashion is not about buying a second skin. Fashion is about having a fantasy.

Biding one's time is a very different thing from patience.

God is coming to intersect us in our funeral processions.

THE FAMILY THAT PRAYS TOGETHER STAYS TOGETHER. A WORLD AT PRAYER IS A WORLD AT PEACE.

If you do not believe that a man will commit murder for one can of tomatoes, then you have never been hungry.

The only thing that's changed for me is that I've figured out a new way to do this; when I go to record, I like to do the drums last, if that makes any sense to you.