Besides hot pockets keeps introducing new products every 10 minutes so I always have new stuff on the topic.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

We are unusual and tragic and alive.

Old soul. Poet's heart. Warriors mind.

Time is the raw material from which money is made.

My priority is not about grades. I yearn for knowledge, skills and wisdom.

She sat for a few minutes in the company of her bitter regrets...

The American people are smart. They've gotten sick of the predictable hyperpartisan talking points and canned anger.

I hope that death contains less than this.

There are some good rules and there are some lousy rules.

And then I was asleep. That deep, can-still-taste-her-in-my-mouth sleep, that sleep that is not particularly restful but difficult to wake up from all the same.

That's one of the things about getting older isn't it? You suddenly realise that you are what you set out to be. And there are no role models any more.