Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

You want to be able to say, for example, “I will know I am successful if these three things happen.

He's the boy who smokes Marlboro cigarettes and I'm the girl who makes theater puppets. Dreams and ashes—two things in the universe that should never meet because they are opposites, right?

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

Well' Francie decided, 'I guess the thing that is giving me this headache is life - and nothing else but'.

My gratitude extends beyond the limits of my capacity to express it.

Ours is an age that's often obsessed with knowledge at the expense of wisdom.

Tenacity isn't just the most important thing, it's the only thing.

As soon as I step on that stage, nothing matters. I don't think of it as work. It's just so much fun.

Entertainment for entertainment's sake is the most expensive form of death.

Ready, fire, aim. Do it! Make it happen! Action counts. No one ever sat their way to success.