Big, skinny, regular size it doesn't matter as long as your young.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

A pact must be kept and a secret must never be revealed ...”Pact of witches

A student was given a mentoring opportunity, "in the hope that when you had somebody to lean on you, you would begin to stand a little steadier yourself, and get manliness and thoughtfulness.

Self-condemnation is God's absolution; and pleading guilty, acquittal at his bar.

I wouldn't be surprised if one day Carl's halo slipped and choked him.

The middle of the road is all of the usable surface. The extremes, right and left, are in the gutters.

Whenever the strength of a belief strongly steps into the foreground, we must infer a certain weakness of demonstrability and the improbability of that belief.

You know what, I'll suffer in silence.

Satan wants anxiety to hinder us from becoming effective servants of Christ.

Israel has incredible entrepreneurial spirit and a deep bench of technology talent.

By how much one man has more experience of things past, than another, by so much also he is more prudent, and his expectations the seldomer fail him.